


He Who Drowned In Flowers

by sapphiics



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: ALL THE ANGST, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Heartbreak, I'm not sorry, Lots of Crying, M/M, Mild Gore, Suicide Attempt, Underage Drinking, Unrequited Love, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-07-20 00:36:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7383949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphiics/pseuds/sapphiics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Flowers.<br/>They're easy to come across, basically everywhere you look when you think about it.<br/>Flowers are sold, crafted, planted, grown, plucked, destroyed, flowers are everything.<br/>Some have beautiful meanings and others have deadly meanings.<br/>Everybody loved flowers, they loved giving them to their loved ones, inhaling their natural scent, and planting them in their gardens.</p><p>But Ayato Kirishima never loved flowers.<br/>He hated them, he hated them ever since they started pouring from his throat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Who Drowned In Flowers

"Kaneki!" the teen with midnight blue hair smiled with delight after laying his eyes on the white haired college student.

Kaneki looked back at Ayato with hateful grey eyes, one's like sharp knives stabbing into the other's skin.

Ayato stumbled a bit, blinking and softening his eyes in sadness.

"W-What's wrong?" He stammered.

"What's wrong? What's wrong?! _You_ are wrong!" Kaneki was visibly burning with complete rage.

Ayato bit his lip, "I don't under-"

"You don't need to understand, Ayato! Because the outcome is simple: I hate you!"

The words him hit like bullet, piercing through his skin and leaving burning holes in his flesh.

It hurt. It hurt a lot.

"I don't love you anymore, Ayato." The more and more Kaneki opened his mouth, the more and more it hurt.

Ayato's eyes widened, he gulped and felt as tears streamed endlessly down his face.

"Cry as much as you want, that won't save you." Kaneki walked away, not a single drop of doubt leaving his voice.

* * *

 The first thing the teen did was run home, his throat burned with such a pain he never thought he could feel.

Ayato ran inside his room and slammed the door shut, he curled up in a ball and cried until there were no tears left in his body to use.

The burning sensation happened once again, it was like throwing a match down his throat, the excessive pain was more than he ever felt in his life.

But never enough to top the aching pain in his chest.

Ayato scratched at his neck, his nails dug into his skin and tore at his flesh.

He coughed, the sight of flower petals blurred his vision.

The teen reached for something, anything, he grabbed more petals on the ground.

They were soft and delicate, yellow like the sunshine that Kaneki brought along with him when he smiled.

Ayato knew these flowers, they were yellow tulips, quite popular around the area.

He cried as the tulip petals flooded from his mouth, perpetually pouring with no stop.

"Ayato!" The door clicked and his sister's voice rang throughout the house.

Before he could say another word, she opened the door to his room. Touka stared at Ayato, sitting and sobbing in an ocean of yellow tulip petals.

"What did he do?" She whispered, her hand clutching the copper door handle.

The teen was covering his mouth with his hand, "N-No! Touka, it's not-"

"Yes it does have to do with Kaneki, you were going to see him today but here you are: sitting on the floor and crying your eyes out in a pile of flower petals. Now tell me what happened." Touka sat down next to her brother, her attention to him and him only.

Ayato crumbled in his sadness, he laid his head on her shoulder and bawled as she petted his hair.

"It's okay, it's okay... You just need to tell me what happened, if he hurt you, then I'll beat the shit outta him." His sister cooed.

"He said that he didn't love me, that he hated, I don't know what I did." The teen choked on his own words.

Touka hugged him, holding him close to her until his stammering breaths were the only thing audible in the room.

"Kaneki just... meant so much to me..." he whispered, feeling the tulip petals fall out of his mouth.

* * *

 Ayato wore a scarf that covered his mouth, it was winter so nobody would question it.

He passed the white haired college student's best friend, a fluffy ball of sunshine named Hideyoshi Nagachika.

They weren't friends, and they weren't enemies. Well, Hideyoshi considered Ayato as a friend, but the teen didn't do the same.

"Hey Hide, you don't happened to be dating Kaneki, right?" Ayato was overthinking, of course Kaneki wouldn't date his roommate and best friend... right...?

Hideyoshi burst into laughter, he held his stomach and slightly cried, "Good one, Ayato!"

So, that was a "no".

"Good." The teen walked away, ignoring everything in his path until he stopped by a small flower stand.

Ayato smiled when he saw the short, hazel haired girl, "Hina!"

The girl blinked at turned her head to him, she returned the smile and placed a pot of peonies down.

"Hello, Ayato-kun! How's it going?" Hinami Fueguchi handed him a sunflower, which he gladly took.

"Oh, life isn't treating me that well..." Ayato exhaled slowly.

Images of Kaneki and the blurry vision behind tears and the bright yellow tulip petals flashed in his mind, he gasped and covered his mouth with his hand.

"Ayato-kun! Are you okay?!" Hinami ran to his side.

The teen coughed more and more flower petals, the scent had hit his nose, the familiar scent. One that was of fresh ink, old books, black coffee, and new snow.

"Kaneki..." The teen felt as if he could choke on these petals any second.

He ran behind one of the tables, he couldn't ever muster the courage to face him once again.

The white haired college student walked up to the flower stand, hands shoved in the pockets of his fur-lined jacket and lips curled downwards into a nonchalant frown.

"Hello, Kaneki-san!" Hinami greeted, unaware of what was happening between them.

"Hey Hinami-chan." Kaneki smiled, taking a hand out of his pocket to ruffle her hair.

Ayato almost forgot how he could change the mood so quickly, how he could create a happy moment out of a sad one. That was one of the mysteries of Kaneki Ken that he didn't want to solve, because anything that involved Kaneki and his beautiful being was all that he wanted.

Kaneki grimaced and looked over the tables, "Ayatooo? I can see you..."

Despite not wanting to face him, Ayato slowly stood up. He flashed a fake smile and threw his hands behind his back.

"I love you." He whispered in a tone as delicate as the wind, soft enough for every ear to ignore.

As always, the white haired college student ignored him, Ayato knew personally that even the slightest of sounds was audible for him, but he still ignored it.

The teen turned around and smiled at the beautiful flowers, he just didn't want to face Kaneki ever again.

Ayato threw his head in his hands, he tried his hardest to muffle his sobs but it didn't work for a second. Hot tears soaked his sleeves and left him crying a full room that felt empty.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, it sped up his heartbeat in a single second and caused adrenaline to flow in his veins.

Ayato snapped his head to the person behind him, it was the one and only with a disappointed expression painted on his face.

He wiped his eyes, "What? Are you here to apologize because your life is _nothing_... without... me...?"

Ayato's voice cracked with emotion, brand new tears ran along his cheeks and dropped onto the floor.

The white haired college student opened his mouth to speak, but the teen interrupted him.

"You know what?! Fuck you! Fuck you and your stupid face! Your cold heart and your alluring smile have nothing to do with me anymore!" Ayato yelled, choking on his own words and letting everything he ever shoved down his throat come out.

"I hate you more than you hate me! Because you fixed me only to break me and kick me over to where I started!" He couldn't control his emotions, everything was just spilling out until he'd be drained from his sadness.

Which could never be.

The teen punched the other in the face, Kaneki stumbled back a couple steps. He gazed at Ayato with a glare sharp enough to cut steel.

Ayato's blood froze up, his hairs raised and his face lost its color.

"I was going to apologize, but apparently you don't need it..." Kaneki's words hurt like the sharpest of knives, it stabbed into the teen with brute force and unforgiving rage.

"Fine!" Ayato growled, "I didn't need you in my life anyway!"

He wanted to smash glass, throw a pot at the white haired college student walking out the door, yell, scream, fight, anything that would numb the pain.

But he just ran, he ran back to the safety of his home and ignored everything that moved and breathed and got in his way.

* * *

 "So I heard about the fight you got in with Kaneki..." Touka closed the door behind her, she watched as her brother laid on the couch with his limbs sprawled out and eyes puffy with tears.

"I'm not mad," she shook her head, smiling.

Ayato averted his eyes to her, "You aren't?"

"If anything, he deserved it. Kaneki's been acting asshole-y lately, it's not your fault at all. But it's not his either... well there's a time and place for everything, and negotiating with your ex isn't one of them." She beamed widely, assuring her brother that everything was fine.

He smiled, "Thanks."

"No problem-"

Touka was interrupted by the small sounds of Ayato's muffled crying, she stared at the yellow tulip petals floating down to the floor.

"H-Hey, don't cry. Crying is for weaklings, don't cry please!" She wrapped her arms around Ayato.

"I can't, Touka, I can't stop crying... because I'm still in love with him, I always will..." The teen sniffled, holding onto his sister's shirt.

She held him closer, "It's fine if you don't want to let go, but the more you hold on, the harder it will get."

"I don't care if it's hard, and I don't care if it's easy!"

Ayato's eyes softened, "I just want Kaneki back, I just want my only source of sunshine in the sea of dark clouds to come back to me..."

* * *

 Yet another week passed and the teen wasn't getting any better. It was to the point where a single glance at somebody with white hair or stone grey eyes made him want to cry.

"I hate him... I hate him... I hate him..." he repeated until his breath froze with the winter snow.

Ayato stumbled into the wall, he slid down the concrete wall and hid his face in his knees.

"I love him..." he whispered.

"What's gotten into you?" the familiar female voice asked, one that belonged to his best friend.

Ayato looked up and sighed, "Hina, there are things that are explainable and there are things that are unexplainable. What I'm feeling right now is one of the many unexplainable things."

Hinami sighed and started dragging his arm towards the street until he stood up.

"You're being ridiculous..." she muttered under her breath.

The teen tensed, his eyes widened and his teeth gritted, " _I'm_ being ridiculous?! Hinami, you can't even _begin_ to understand how I feel!"

He twisted his hand out of her grip and ran away, he didn't know where to run or why. Ayato just needed to get out there, too many people, too many eyes pointed on him, it was too stressful.

Ayato ended up at a bridge, it towered over a glimmering river. He let out a long sigh and leaned on the wall of the bridge, the stone was cold against his clothed skin.

"Ayato," that voice. The same voice he never wanted to hear ever again.

The teen looked behind him and glared at the white haired college student, "What do you want from me?

Kaneki grumbled something that Ayato couldn't hear, he shoved his hands in his pockets and walked closer to the teen.

"I honestly don't know what I want... maybe it's you, maybe it's somebody else, it's really confusing." There goes Kaneki and his constant ranting, it was questionable to the extreme, but Ayato already knew it was a trick to confuse people.

"You know what I want?" Ayato lifted his head, "I want you to love me again."

Kaneki scoffed, "Really? And here I am, thinking that all of that affection spiraled down the drain into the never-ending void of unrequited love. But you're heart still beats for me, how pitiful..."

Ayato burned with rage, he wanted to punch that stupid smirk off of Kaneki's face. But he was so drained of energy, of passion, all he could do was attempt to punch him, miss, and then do nothing about it but sulk.

"Fine, if you hate me so much..." Ayato sat on the wall of the bridge, he leaned backwards but still managed to keep his balance.

"It would be a shame if I just... _fell_..." he chuckled ever so slightly, leaning farther as Kaneki's eyes widened.

The white haired college student held out his hand, "Aya-"

He was too late, Ayato slipped through his fingers once again. He fell off the bridge and sunk into the water.

Kaneki dived in after him, it was the only thing he could do in this panic-filled situation.

As for Ayato, the world silently unraveled before him, his eyes were half closed and his lips were curled ever so slightly into a smile, for he was at peace.

But alas, the not-too distant sound of splashing water and a warm arm around his waist was what he expected.

Kaneki had saved his life.

Ayato laid on the freezing concrete, he was alive, this wasn't what he intended to do.

The white haired college student coughed the water out of his lungs before snapping his head to the teen with hate burning brightly in his dim grey eyes.

"What the _fuck_ , Ayato?!" he croaked, hovering over the other.

Ayato felt warm water drip onto his skin, he didn't know if it was river water or Kaneki crying over him.

He didn't care. He wanted to go home and slit his wrists before Touka came back, only to see her brother on the floor with cut wrists and a wistful smile on his face.

Not even the tiniest cloud of guilt stormed his mind with that terrifying thought, while Kaneki cried, Ayato grinned.

"You bastard... why are you smiling?" The white haired college student put his hands on the teen's shoulders and proceeded to shake him violently.

"Why? Why? Why? You fucking asshole!" It was funny to hear the same words that came of of his mouth the same day the other left him behind.

If Ayato's throat wasn't sore, he could of laughed.

* * *

 

"Is there something wrong with your mental health?!" great, now Touka was mad at him, it didn't matter though.

The teen shrugged, "I don't exactly know, with flower petals flooding out of my mouth and Kaneki switching the way he acts around me left and right, I could be left a madman."

Touka made an animal-like snarling noise, she whipped her head around and walked into her room.

Ayato could of killed himself on the spot, he juggled a knife in between his fingers and Touka was too busy being angry to realize it.

He felt the petals bubbling up from his throat, dropping onto the floor and crowding the couch.

"What if I just..." The teen looked down at the knife, staring at his reflection in the shining blade, " _Cut out_ the flowers...?"

The idea never came to mind, maybe the self-removale would be enchanting with flowers scattered everywhere and a cut open neck. Or maybe it will end up a bloody mess, with his vocal cords ripped out and a gash in his neck with no progress made.

Well, Ayato didn't know unless he tried.

He pointed the knife at his adam's apple, blood trickled down the blade of the knife as the pain started to grow.

His pulse thrummed as the edge went farther into his neck.

Ayato threw the knife against the wall, it fell and took out a couple pictures frames with it, sweat dripped down his forehead as his breathing grew heavier.

He ran out the door, horrified to a point so extreme he just might vomit.

Why was it that his life was always dedicated to running? Running away from Kaneki, running away from his issues, running away from the truth.

He thought about it before, and running was just the path to freedom... or at least what he called freedom, which was simply ignoring the burning truth: Kaneki hated him because he was fucked in the head.

Ayato ended up running into Hide again, the sunshine haired student blinked a couple times and then flashed a confused grin.

"You okay there, buddy?" he slightly chuckled, probably out of fear that his head would be ripped off by the teen.

Ayato almost forgot that he wasn't in best shape at all, he looked like he had clawed his way out of hell. But if he were to be completely honest, he kind of did.

The truth was hell for him, he wanted anything but to listen to the truth. All he wanted to do was fall back into Kaneki's strong arms and stay there forever, like he did before but could never do again.

"Uh, Ayato-"

" _What_?!" The teen snaped his head towards Hide, his eyes wide and dark bags visible to where they could be mistaken for make up.

The sunshine haired student gulped, "You were kind of spacing out there..."

"Whatever," Ayato sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets and walking away.

Hide stared at him until he disappeared into the crowd, wondering what could of triggered the sudden mood swing.

Ayato blinked slowly, trying to forget everything, to clear all the swarming thoughts and dreadful mistakes.

That's all he was good at, making mistakes and proving himself to be a mistake.

The teen punched a brick wall, the pain coursed through his arm fast enough to ignore. He squeezed his eyes shut to stop from crying, then punched the wall again, using all the anger and force he could possibly muster.

He turned to set his eyes on the first building in his vision, it was a worn down liquor store, the sign was tattered and ready to break while cigarette buds littered the sidewalk in front of it.

Ayato's decision-making skills weren't the best at the moment, and thus, the blooming idea of walking into the store came to mind.

He walked in and out in a split second, make it ten minutes because he walked out with a half-empty wallet and five bottles of wine.

Oh, Touka was going to be pissed when she found him like this, too bad he didn't care.

* * *

 Ayato sat alone in the living room, the door was locked and his sister wouldn't arrive until late, all of those facts led to the poor choice of underage drinking.

The funny part was, he's done it before, with Kaneki. Ayato remembered getting wasted until he couldn't walk and just had to fall into the white haired college student's arms, he remembered hating the taste but loving the feeling, and he remembered every light and line and face blurring into one. And he will never forget the heat that he shared with Kaneki that night when they went overboard with the drinks, no matter how hard he tried. Despite the fact that getting drunk caused your brain to cease from creating new memories, he remembered it all. And damn, did he wish to forget it.

The teen tilted his head back and let the alcohol pour down his throat, it burned but the pain felt amazing. He only realized that he went through the first bottle when everything started to blur in half a minute, " _This stuff really kicks in_."

The memories started to flood back in when Ayato finished his second bottle, tears stung the corner of his eyes as he started to remember Kaneki's smile, his laugh, his touch, his words, it made him want to break glass and burn down a house.

Ayato threw the empty bottle at the wall, it crashed into a million pieces just like his emotional state. The teen threw bottles, screamed, cried, ripped pillows, cut into his skin with the same kitchen knife he used before, the petals came back and scattered onto the floor in disorder. It all happened at once until he heard the door click open.

No, it wasn't Touka, she wouldn't get off early for her life.

It wasn't Hinami either, she doesn't have a house key.

There were only three people who had a key to the Kirishima siblings' apartment: Touka, Ayato, and...

"Kane...ki..." Ayato's lips pressed together, his teeth gritted until he sworn that a tooth had chipped.

"What're... What're you doing here...!?" the teen slurred, struggling to walk straight or walk at all.

The white haired college student sighed, he watched as the other male tripped and caught him before he fell into broken glass.

" _Like always, Ayato is too full of pride to say 'thank you'. He doesn't change, even when he's drunk_." Kaneki thought to himself, holding Ayato in his arms and pulling him close.

Ayato smashed his lips into Kaneki's, his eyes closed while the other's eyes were wide open with disbelief and surprise.

The teen grinded himself against the white haired college student, he moaned into his mouth and pulled apart with a thin string of saliva connecting them together.

Kaneki narrowed his eyes, he bit his lip and slammed Ayato onto the tile floor.

Ayato hissed in pain, he looked up at Kaneki with blue eyes full of fear.

"How dare you..." Kaneki punched him in the face, blood splattered across the floor.

He punched him again and again, until his knuckles were covered in blood and until the other was barely breathing.

He punched him, kneed him in the chest, wrapped his hands around his neck and choked the air out of him. All of it hurt, but the other compressed it.

"You still don't get it, do you?" Ayato shakily sighed, slowly collecting the air back in his lungs.

Kaneki huffed, "What is there to understand?"

"I love you." The teen's eyebrows furrowed, "I will never stop loving you, no matter what. If I had a flower for every time I thought about you, I'd have a never-ending garden by now."

The white haired college student covered his mouth with his hand, tears watered in the corners of his eyes and streamed down his face.

"Stop crying, stop acting like you're feeling the same pain that I did. It hurts to see you finally realize the obvious." Ayato remained stoic in this situation, emotionless and grey with not even the tiniest spark of sadness.

He was too tired to care anymore, he's wasted all the tears that he could, he had nothing to give anymore.

"If you say 'I'm sorry', I'll get up and slit my throat." Ayato exhaled.

Kaneki sat up and wiped his eyes, "I won't try to understand but... why are you like this? You went from crying and emotional to absolutely nothing, _why are you such a different person_?"

Ayato's answer was short and simple, it's what he's been keeping in the entire time, "Why do you think?"

He took a swig from the last wine bottle and sighed, then threw it against the wall.

"It's honestly funny, because I hate you so much, but my body and my heart and my person just won't let you go."

"What do you want from me?!" Kaneki yelled, causing Ayato's voice to reduce to a simple whisper.

He opened his mouth, then pressed his lips together, it took a couple minutes for him to respond to the other.

Finally, the teen's heart said what it had to say through all the pain and agony and blood, through all the mess it's made for itself that it can't clean up on it's own.

"I want you to hold me in your arms, tell me that I matter, tell me that you care. I want you to say what you said to me before, I want you to tell me that you love me, even if it's all fake." He ended his sentence with a single petal leaving his mouth.

It twirled before touching the cold tile floor. It was crushed under Ayato's foot but survived, only to be alone, withered, and slowly dying.

* * *

 

"I'm such a fucking mess..." The teen muttered to himself, sitting in an ocean of yellow tulip petals.

"I don't deserve the world that he gave me." He stared at the floor with eyes that seemed lifeless.

"I hate... I hate him... No, no, I hate..." Everything was blurring together in one big mess once again, "I hate me."

Ayato heard a knock at the door, he opened it to see Hinami standing in the doorway with a worried look in her eyes.

His ghostly, broken complexion brought tears to her chocolate brown eyes, "Why...?"

"That's what he said." Ayato growled, his fist curling at the unwanted memories.

Hinami broke into sobs, she covered her eyes with her palms and fell onto her knees.

The teen turned around to walk back to his room when two arms wrapped around his abdomen from behind.

"Hina..." Ayato's eyes slightly widened, "Please let go."

"No, Ayato-kun, all I want to do is protect you. I don't know what's happening between you and Kaneki-san, but I want to do whatever I can to help!" She squeezed him tighter and muffled her cries in his shirt.

Ayato caught a sharp gasp, he wiggled his way out of Hinami's tight grip and glared at her.

"I don't need any help, thanks anyway." The teen knew that she couldn't do anything about it, as much as he trusted her, she was no help to the problem.

Hinami noticed the yellow tulip petals scattered all around Ayato's room, "What are those flower-"

Ayato's senses turned on his panic reflexes, he pushed her out the door and slammed it shut.

Ayato pressed his back against the door, he slid down the wood and brought his knees to his face.

A terrible idea came into his mind, he reached for his phone and punched in a specific number.

"What do you want?" The white haired college student sighed into the phone, the teen could hear it and it made him grit his teeth.

"I want you to come over here, kiss me, fuck me, forget about it all in the tangle of limbs, and then come out bruised and slightly less broken than we were when we came in. Just like old times." Ayato's words were nothing but pure bullshit, of course Kaneki wouldn't come over for an idea as stupid as that.

"What about I come over and beat you until you can't breathe?" Kaneki suggested, a mix between lust and pure hate ringing in his voice.

It made Ayato scoff, "Ha ha... I'm serious."

"I am too." Kaneki hissed, his anger audible even through the static sounds caused by bad reception.

* * *

 

The white haired college student sighed at the teen's arrival, he was greeted with a fist to the face.

"You're a fucking asshole who doesn't understand anything." Ayato spat, tears already stinging the corners of his eyes.

Kaneki only simpered, "That makes two of us."

His smirk fell when he noticed yellow- almost golden- flower petals on the floor in front of him, "Where did these come from..?"

"I don't know." Ayato lied, he knew exactly where they came from.

The white haired college student grabbed both his wrists and pinned him against the brick wall, the teen seethed as a reaction and tried kicking his way out of the other's grip.

"Let go of me!" Ayato screamed, his voice hoarse and scratchy.

Kaneki gladly ignored him, he looked him dead in the eyes and waited for him to shut up.

Ayato ran out of energy, he gave up and let Kaneki do whatever he wanted with him.

The teen squeezed his eyes tight, he let the tulip petals fall. Tears streaked down his cheeks, it hurt to see Kaneki find out that he vomitted flower petals because of something as pathetic as one-sided love.

It hurt just like the day he wants to forget, it hurt like burning acid on his bare skin, and it felt just like the white haired college student had stuck his fingers in his chest and ripped it open, exposing his bloodied and beaten heart.

"Stop... please..." Ayato whimpered, not wanting to end like this: in front of an angered Kaneki, with tears in his eyes and petals pouring from his mouth.

"Fucking hell!" He pushed he other male over, causing him to fall on the frozen concrete. "I'm _done_ with you ripping my heart apart and then stitching it back together with fake affection, just so I could feel a bit more stable than I actually am! I'm done with you smiling at me one moment and beating me til I can't breathe the other! I'm done with everything you ever gave and took away from me!"

He threw his face in his hands and sobbed silently, "All I wanted to do was know what I managed to do in order to fuck everything up... why do you hate me so much? Am I _that_ bad of a person?"

Kaneki cupped Ayato's face with his hands, his skin felt freezing cold like the December weather.

"I'm sorry... for everything... you didn't deserve any of the shit that I made you go through." his apology made the teen's eyes widen with anger.

"You're  _sorry?!_ What kind of bullshit is this?!" He bared his teeth and headbutted the other male.

Kaneki released his grip on Ayato's wrists, looking at him with skeptical eyes.

"I don't care how many times you apologize!" the teen growled loudly, "You will  _never_ be able to return what you took!"

He ran away, his wrists burning with the pain of Kaneki's tight grip, it left a red mark on his porcelain colored skin.

Ayato stopped by the bridge again, the river above it was frozen and he didn't feel like trying, so he just sat on the edge and kicked his legs around.

He picked the petals off of a tulip, once it was dead, he took another one out of the bouquet sitting next to him.

"I do love him." he tore a petal off.

"No, no I don't." 

He repeated the process until the last flower sat in his hand, vibrant with colors that were unlike the other monotone tulips.

Ayato clutched it in his hand and threw it off the side of the bridge, tears slightly stinging his eyes.

He sighed away his anger and leaned back in relaxation, smiling wistfully.

"I love him..."

**Author's Note:**

> So, I picked yellow tulip petals out of every flower because of one reason and one reason only: because in the language of the flowers, yellow tulips mean "hopelessly in love"  
> It's a little on the sad side, but the entire thing was focused on Ayato still being in love with Kaneki, despite his burning hatred. This is why he had Hanahaki Disease, because he couldn't let go of Kaneki even though they parted ways.  
> ((also using rose petals for Hanahaki Disease is a cliche move))


End file.
